What a Woman/Man Wants

Friday, July 4th, 2008

Sam Milby - Only You (ABS-CBN Koreanovela Theme)

It’s been a  while since my last post. I’ve been wanting to write about Father’s Day, my daily struggles and alot more, but then due to time constraints I wasn’t able to do so. Now I have something to be thankful for being sick, lol! Thank God I can now update my blog.

“What do I want in a man?”

I am being asked this question alot of times since people know that I’m single. Yes, I am now single and negotiable…lol! Kiddin’. Not till next year. Yes, I have set a timeline for myself. Some of my answers are in my previous blogs already. After having my heart broken so badly, I would say I’m pretty reluctant to try again, to love again. Having a second chance at love wouldn’t be that bad, and I hope it wouldn’t be that hard as well. I’m not looking, I’m just sitting here in my own world waiting for “God’s will” to find me. Yes, I would NEED a Christian guy, and I mean it. ..And someone who will love me twice as much as I love him, for the rest of my life. Someone who I can share my life with, and not give up my life for. Someone who wouldn’t trade togetherness for money or comfort. Someone, who will treat me as equal, and will give me the chance to be a wife (the one and only wifey) and a mother. I need a man who knows what he wants, and who has his head above his shoulders, not just below his belt.

Read on. You might get something out of it, coz I did too. The What a woman part has been modified based on my opinion and taste about the man I wanna love. And bear in mind, that these are wants, not need. So the man that I’m gunna love could always remain an exception. *wink*

What A Woman Wants

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman. He was pursuing the question “what kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, “do you really want to know?” Reluctantly, he said, “yes.”

She began to expound… “As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of myself with out the help of any man… or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, “What are you worth for me to want you?”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.”

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I want a man who can keep up or start a smart conversation without taking for granted his sense of humor. I don’t need a simple-minded man. 

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded. 

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive… He just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “you are asking a lot.”

She replied, “I’m worth a lot.”

What A Man Wants

If these really were your thoughts, then I’m not the man you want. I am not one who strives for perfection. I’ve made too many mistakes and came across many circumstances that made me accept the fact that nobody and nothing is perfect in this world and it would be better to make the best out of everything the tide of life brings you.

I think everyone is trying to strive for financial perfection. but to consider someone as a financial burden, especially the ones you love, is a sign of selfishness, a sign of greed. I support my family financially but never considered them a burden. What if I had a wife who wasn’t really a “financial burden” when we met, but encountered a series of crises in her life that pushed her to bankruptcy. Would I then choose to consider her a “burden”? Hell no! She needs me, and I will never leave her side.

In my opinion, the woman who wrote this isn’t looking for someone to love. She’s looking for a pet.

Love entails risk. Love entails sacrifices. Love is never an investment. Love is not giving your life to someone, but making the one you love a part of your life, regardless of his/her imperfections. To love is to accept.

But to love is also to want to be a better person for the one you love. If the man in the conversation really loves the woman, he would strive to be the man she wants him to be.

It is not for me to decide what I am worth. But it is for the one I love to realize how important I am to her. I could give myself a 5-peso price tag, but for someone else I could be worth her life’s savings.

It’s been a long time since I’ve opened my heart like this. I asked myself a question, and I think what follows very much answers everything.

What I want in a woman…

What I want is a good woman, a good woman with a good heart. 

A woman who is compassionate and caring, considerate and kind-one who is selfless enough to put her needs aside for the sake of the people she loves.

Honest. 

A woman who is capable of differentiating between love and infatuation and not spineless enough when rejecting someone opting them friendship as a consolation.

A woman who is not afraid to tell you how she feels and is able to confront her insecurities and flaws.

A mature woman who is stimulating, able to hold conversations with and strong enough to handle criticism.

Loyal. 

A woman that loves no one but God, her family, herself, and I.

One who will not manipulate or be so petty as to allow something great pass before her in favor of temporary shallowness.

A woman who is not materialistic and understands that money does not make a man nor will it ever equal any status of love.

Realistic.

Down to earth.

One who knows what it means to trust, to understand and upkeep responsibilities that they may have for the rest of their lives. 

A woman of passion. 

A woman to fight over with but make up and make love later that day with the greatest of all love that we literally consume one another. 

I want a woman who I can wake up with one morning and realize how blessed I am to be with her and to understand what it feels like to be content and she would feel the same.

Because that is a woman who genuinely understands love and the mysteries that surrounds it.

That is the kind of woman I want — the kind that I want to be with and to grow old with.

To entrust my heart to and to share my entire life with.